Looking Back

By Arvind Krishna

Looking back, I have often debated for myself why, having lived and worked mostly in Palo Alto, California (known for the Stanford University Campus) and in the heart of Silicon Valley for about 12 years, did I come back to my homeland about twenty years ago.
The satisfaction for my personal achievements notwithstanding, mostly professional there and social as well as family here, I am still not sure what would have given me more joy, peace and happiness and less rough-and-tumble, tension and despair in the past twenty years. It is very easy to sit on one side of a fence and think of greener pastures on the other. One can come to fast conclusions, especially in moments of anguish or frustration – and mind you – moments between them are not few and far between, especially here. In our country one has to deal with a lot of people at work with underdeveloped thinking and literary faculty, irresponsible drivers on the road with no etiquette whatsoever, ill-mannered yet very egoistical social animals which can give you lots of heartburn, heartache and hair-splitting moments. Not there is any dearth of freaks or rednecks in foreign lands either, but definitely, mostly a well groomed, civic-minded lot that one came face to face with, fortunately in my experience.
My job in running an industry in this country has not been a typically white collar one and I have had to deal with all kinds of people, mostly not very trained or skilled – even at places they are expected to be. Business ethics is a far cry from most of my customers. My experience with banks and multinationals here has also been quite disappointing, since I am an intelligent customer and they do not seem to know what customer satisfaction is. A zero defect approach or any effort towards perfection is missing, although I must commend the self-respect and toil of the poor, hardworking masses who were not fortunate enough to get proper training. Also, since I am a simple individual believing in self-service with a minimalist approach to life, I do not enjoy the luxury of having a team of servants doing my work, which is supposedly the hallmark of this country, where poor people can be exploited to your heart’s content. At a younger age when I was thinking of vocational choices, the Indian Administrative Services was seriously on my mind but now I feel I would definitely have been a misfit as a civil servant, since I would refuse to toe the line of the politically appointed bosses, would love to do my own personal work and drive my own car without any commandoes leading and following me in their gas guzzling gypsies. Oh, how much I detest this for a poor country like ours! The irony is that the government spends millions on your security and then you get mowed down by the bus driver whose record of killings is more than that of some terrorists. I must also admit that I am debating whether or not to vote in the forthcoming elections since I have come to feel that India is anything but democratic. I would say it is still an aristocracy. The only change is that the brown sahibs replaced the white ones in 1947. Leave aside any lesser literate or developed part of India, the administration of my own town is a glaring example. Barring exceptions whom I know are honest and humble to the core, it does not seem to get any better with the decadent younger generation. The security of my own family and law and order in general does become a concern for me when I see the huge properties amassed around my town conspicuously by some officers of the Indian Police Service who are supposed to take care of us with our taxed money.
Outweighing all, it’s the like-minded, good thinking people - mostly more intelligent and well read than I am, and high achievers and social and spiritual think-tanks that I have had a chance to meet, make friends and interact with in my own country and share a lot of good thoughts and great laughter with, that makes it all worthwhile for me to be here. And of course the less fortunate who have accepted my offer to cheer them in my own small way have made my living amidst them worthwhile. Their sheer grit to survive against the odds of too many people and tolerance for the growing divide between them and the arrogant, flamboyant rich has personally humbled me and taught me to count my own blessings. I find the rickshaw puller the coolest and the plight of them sleeping in the corridors touches me. I often apply my mind how I can bring about a change for the better in their lives. I am also a proud yet often a lone ranger in my effort to educate young people about social responsibility, civic sense, discipline and ecology. I had thought I might be able to start a movement on family planning but I gave up. One major personal satisfaction - I could not have raised my two children in any better way than I have in this country. I am proud of them and my country’s value system for that. It is another story that they were sent to foreign lands on my insistence for higher education to give them a chance to excel in their professions and also to let them experience the dignity of labour and hard work and where luck has little chance! They were taught much to love their own country but it will be for them to decide where to live. Unlike me, they have a father who is not going to falsely influence them to be “first class citizens” of a “second class country” or even the other way around. They just have to become first class human beings and try and make the whole world a better place, wherever they live.
Recently I felt that I was not evolving enough and life was passing me by, so I started looking back and decided to pen my thoughts. Meanwhile, I am going to be happy living only in the present, making the most of every moment, being one with nature, and looking forward to more thoughtful interactions and hilarious moments of laughter and wit with my good pals. God bless my country!